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Healthy relations key to strong relationship

Updated: Dec 3, 2023

Relation typically refers to the connection or bond between individuals. This can include family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, professional relationships and how we interact with our own self. In this article we will be focusing on building a healthy relation with one's self.

Our connections starts from the day we were conceived, this desire to be attached to someone or something was wired in our DNA, as we mature these connections will determine how we live in relation to our views on self, those close to us and the world in general.

As humans we were built to be in relations; every aspect of our lives is connected in someway to other humans or to something. It is through these connections that we form and build relationships. When we find ourselves disconnected or with a broken relation our entire being becomes dysregulated turning our whole world into chaos.

Building a positive and healthy relationship with oneself, also known as self-relationship or self-connection, is crucial for personal well-being, self-esteem and your connection with others. Here are some ways to relate to yourself in a positive and nurturing manner:

Self-Awareness: Begin by developing self-awareness, take time to understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Reflect on your values, beliefs, and motivations. Self-awareness is the foundation of a healthy self-relationship. Relating to oneself through self-awareness is a powerful and transformative process. Regularly engage in self-reflection ask yourself open-ended questions about your goals, values, beliefs, and desires. like "How am I feeling today?" or "What are my goals and aspirations?" This can help you gain insight into your inner world and make informed decisions. Writing in a journal can help you process your thoughts and emotions, gain insights into your self-esteem, and track your progress over time.

Embrace your true self, including your strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. Self-awareness isn't about changing who you are but about understanding and accepting yourself on a deeper level. Developing self-awareness is an ongoing process, and it can lead to a more authentic and positive relationship with yourself. By understanding your inner world, you can make more informed choices, cultivate self-acceptance, and work towards personal growth and well-being.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Recognize and challenge any negative thoughts or beliefs you may have about yourself. Are these thoughts based on reality, or are they distorted perceptions? Replace them with more balanced and positive self-talk.

Challenge and reframe negative self-talk, when you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, replace those thoughts with positive affirmations or realistic self-appraisals. example "I am valuable, I am capable, I am loved" Pay attention to the things that trigger strong emotional responses in you. Knowing your triggers can help you respond more intentionally and constructively in challenging situations. Develop emotional intelligence by learning to identify and manage your emotions. Understand the impact of your emotions on your thoughts and behaviors, and work on regulating them.

Forgive Yourself: Let go of past mistakes and regrets. Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and these experiences can be valuable for personal growth. Holding onto guilt and shame can be detrimental to your self-relationship. Learn from your past experiences and use them as stepping stones for personal growth. Practice self-compassion treat yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that you would offer to a friend in times of struggle or self-doubt. Be aware of your self-talk and replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical and emotional needs. Prioritize sleep, nutrition, exercise, and relaxation. Self-care activities can vary from person to person but might include hobbies, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. Mindfulness techniques, This involves paying deliberate and non-judgmental attention to your thoughts, emotions, and sensations. You can do this through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply by being present in the moment this can help you stay present and reduce stress and anxiety. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Negative influences can harm your self-esteem, so choose your company wisely. One of my go to breathing exercise is the 4-7-8 breathing technique developed by Dr. Andrew Weil. Cultivate a sense of gratitude by regularly reflecting on the things you're thankful for in your life. This can help shift your focus away from negativity.

Develop Healthy Boundaries and Values: Developing healthy boundaries in relation to oneself is a fundamental aspect of self-care, self-respect, and maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life. Healthy boundaries help you establish limits and protect your well-being. Learn to say no when necessary and establish boundaries in your relationships, both personal and professional. Respecting your own boundaries is crucial for self-respect. Values are the guiding principles that reflect what is truly important to you and what you want to prioritize in your life. Clarifying what you truly value in life can guide your decision-making and help you live a more authentic life, knowing your core values is a great way to connect with your true self. List the values that come to mind and try to prioritize them in order of most important to you. You can use values assessment questionnaires or worksheets to help you identify your core values. Once you've clarified your values, make an effort to live in accordance with them. Make choices and set goals that align with your values, and be mindful of whether your daily actions reflect these principles. Clarity of values can serve as a guiding compass for your decisions and actions, helping you create a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling. It can also improve your self-awareness and provide a strong foundation for personal growth and well-being.

Seek input from others, sometimes, friends, family, or colleagues can offer insights into your values. They may see patterns in your behavior that you are not aware of, in doing so it can help to solidify the authenticity of your values. Periodically review your boundaries and values make the necessary adjustments as needed. Life circumstances change, and so should your boundaries. When you respect your own boundaries, you'll find that you have more energy, feel less stressed, and enjoy healthier relationships with others.

Set Realistic Goals and Realistic Expectation: Set achievable goals for yourself, and celebrate your successes along the way, no matter how small. Recognize that it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Avoid setting overly high or unattainable expectations for yourself. Instead, set achievable goals and acknowledge your limitations. Use your self-awareness to identify areas in which you'd like to grow and improve. Set realistic goals for personal development and track your progress. Ask for feedback from trusted friends, family members, or mentors. They can provide valuable insights into your strengths and areas for growth. Acknowledge and appreciate your strengths and talents. Embrace what makes you unique and use your strengths to your advantage.

Seek Support: Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family, life coach or a therapist for support and guidance. Talking to someone you trust can help you gain new perspectives and insights.

If you find it challenging to develop self-awareness on your own, and it's impacting your mental health and daily life consider seeking the assistance of a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore your inner world and provide guidance on how to relate to yourself more effectively.

Seeking support from others in relation to yourself is an important part of personal growth and well-being. Talk to close friends and family members you trust. Share your thoughts and feelings with them, and seek their advice or just a listening ear. Consider professional help from therapists, counselors, or psychologists. They can provide guidance, tools, and a safe space for self-exploration and healing. Be open to joining support groups or self-help groups focused on specific issues or challenges you may be facing. These groups often offer a sense of community and understanding. Seek guidance from mentors or coaches who can provide insight and advice based on their expertise and experience. Read self-help books, articles, and blogs related to personal development and self-improvement. enroll in workshops, seminars, or online courses related to personal development and well-being. These educational experiences can provide you with new skills and insights. If you are part of a religious or spiritual community, consider seeking support from your spiritual leader.

When seeking support, it's essential to be clear about your needs and goals. Different sources of support may be more appropriate for specific issues or challenges. Don't hesitate to reach out to multiple sources for different aspects of your well-being. Remember that seeking support is a sign of strength, and it can help you on your journey toward personal growth and self-improvement.

Remember developing a positive self-relationship is an ongoing process, and it may take time and effort. Be patient with yourself and treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer to others. Developing a strong and nurturing relationship with yourself can lead to improved self-esteem, resilience, and overall well-being. Remember that it's normal to have moments of self-doubt. Be patient with yourself and continue to work on self-improvement and self-acceptance over time.


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